Who wants to live in the real world anyway!

I know I'm not the first and I'm sure I won't be the last but...I realised a few days ago that I spend more time in the Cyber world than I do in the real one. I'm either writing my blog, entering competitions online talking on Twitter or Facebook or getting lost in Grimney!

I find myself rushing to do things that need to be done on planet reality so that I can get back into my cyber world. My dog doesn't like it, she sits staring at me quite often as if willing me to 'come away from that box'.
She's happy enough today though because we've been playing in the park for two hours so she's tired enough not to notice that I'm on the box in the corner again!

My husband doesn't mind too much, he's in his own little cyber world much of the time! We do meet up in the real world for a coffee occasionally though......

The most surprising aspect of this is my growing addiction to Grimney. I - or at least my character - has been having lots of adventures there recently. The difference between Grimney and planet earth is that you can control what happens to your life!

I used to spend quite a lot of time uploading articles and poetry to various publications in the hope that they would not only publish my scribblings but pay me as well. I don't do that so much nowadays though because I find that simply writing for the pleasure of it is far more enjoyable. My words may not be the most profound that you've ever read but they are MY words and I don't have to have anyone's permission to get them published.

During that particular period when I was desperate to be a published writer, I  wrote a poem called 'Cyberspace Race' My daughter then turned it into a song for me which gave me a huge thrill! I can now add the rather impressive title of  'songwriter' to my growing list of credentials.

What?

Well, other people blag their way through life so why shouldn't I?

So until next time I leave you with my poem and my song!!

                                                 CYBERSPACE RACE

My words of wisdom keep disappearing

Into cyberspace

I don’t want to grumble

But I’m sort of losing face

All my words are disappearing

To a black hole sort of place

You see

I’ve joined the cyberspace race

The cyberspace race

The cyberspace race

My words are disappearing

Into cyberspace

Now that I’ve joined

The cyberspace race

One day I’m going to get a call

From an alien in another world

He’ll say Your words are clever

And I wondered if you’d ever

Had them published

No not yet

I just upload them on the net

But I’ve never heard a word, not yet

You see:

The cyberspace race

The cyberspace race

My words are disappearing

Into cyberspace

Since I joined the cyberspace race

Log in, Log out

Log in, Log out

All this white space

What is it all about?

The cyberspace race

The cyberspace race

Think I’ll cancel my subscription

To the cyberspace race

All my creative juice

Is floating round in cyberspace.

 http://soundcloud.com/barbarathomas#play (Copy and paste this link to bring up player)

                                                             The Hex Factor

Every year I say the same thing  ' I'm not going to watch it this year' and then......before I know it I'm halfway through the series. What am I talking about? You've probably guessed already, Reality TV - which, I might add, doesn't appear to have much reality in it at all.

X Factor and I'm a Celebrity get me out of here (or should that be; I want to be a celebrity get me in there!) are the current shows I love to hate. Simon Cowell has a lot to answer for! I have done a creative writing course - ok so you might not guess it from reading my blog - but one thing that stands out in my mind from that course is that you should avoid cliches like the plague (sorry!). I was also told that I use too many exclamation marks!!! I personally like exclamation marks but I can see the reasoning behind the cliche thingy.

Do the same rules not apply to telly programmes? I'm referring particularly to cliches now. If I hear one more cliche during X Factor I swear........I won't watch it next year..........
Here are just five that drive me mad:

It's a life changing opportunity.
This week you've got to up your game
You're the one to beat
You nailed it
It's becoming predictable (huh, says you!)

Also really, really annoying are the obviously staged rows between the judges - designed to keep 'the public' interested.

I may be becoming cynical in my old age but I don't even believe the contestants are real! My theory is that the majority of the finalists are already signed by record companies and the programme is a cheap way to gain publicity for them. It's just my opinion and I'm not always right.

Another thing that annoys me is when 'the judges' tell amazing vocalists that they have 'potential' In other words those expert judges will teach the youngsters how to become great singers, all credit to the judges then! I wonder if there is anybody in the country who doesn't see right through it? Yes, probably the ones who have actually stopped watching! The rest of us just keep watching so that we can have a good grumble!

No poem this week. Instead I have a special treat. Below is a singer who has been treading the boards since the age of thirteen and has genuinely served her apprenticeship.She is my daughter and in this video she is performing one of the many songs she has written. I hope you enjoy it but not to worry if you don't, we don't all like the same things!

Until next week:

   http://www.youtube.com/user/Jenny67167?blend=1&ob=5

Ringo Ruined my Party!

 Well, it's been a great weekend for Beatles fans with all the documentaries commemorating fifty years since the group arrived on the scene. Did I say FIFTY YEARS? Seems like yesterday to me. Anyway, watching the programmes and hearing the songs made me feel all nostalgic.I don't know about anybody else but I can't think of one song by the Beatles that I don't like. There's not many artists you can say that about today - I must be getting old or something! It also brought back memories of a very sad day in my life.....

I can still remember my eighth birthday party like it was yesterday    The Beatles had just been unleashed on the world and I had fallen head over heels in love with Ringo Starr.   

Plans were well underway for my eighth birthday party when I had a brainwave. I would send an invitation to Ringo, he’d be delighted to receive it and would surely come. I quickly wrote the letter…

Dear Ringo, it’s my birthday on December 28^th and I’m having a party. You can come if you like. Then as an afterthought I added, Oh and you can bring the other Beatles as well if you want to. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings by not inviting them but I wasn’t bothered as long as HE turned up!

I asked my big brother if he knew the Beatles’ address – and of course he did. Big brothers know everything don’t they? Soon the invitation was on its way to 1A Liverpool Road, Liverpool.

A few weeks later there was a lot of hustle and bustle in the house as the preparations got under way for the big party. Cakes and jellies were being prepared and the room decorated with balloons. Ringo was going to LOVE this. Quite a lot of people had been invited but there was only one guest I was waiting for.    

Each time the doorbell rang I chased my mum up the corridor. She’d barely got the door open as I squealed “Is it Ringo?” “No, my mum replied, it’s…..” My heart sank. Still there was plenty of time yet. I was absolutely certain he would come. The scene kept repeating until finally, the doorbell stopped ringing.

There was lots of noise and excitement all around me, looking back it must have been heartbreaking for my mum seeing my miserable face amidst all the merrymaking but I just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t turned up, he never even sent me a birthday card!

All I wanted to do was cry. I was glad when the charade ended and everyone went home.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the disappointment of that day but as I grew older I realised why Ringo hadn’t shown. His address wasn’t 1A Liverpool road, what was my brother thinking………..

I've often wondered if that letter is on display somewhere in a Beatles museum..or if it actually got delivered to Ringo.

I know I have already shared this poem with you in an earlier blog but it seems appropriate to end with this one because of the 50th anniversary - and also because I particularly like it. (Am I allowed to say that about my own poem?) Yes, that's what I like about writing my own blog, I can do whatever I choose......

See you next week x

PIANO

In a winter white room

Stands a Grand piano

Silent,

Untouched by human hands

Un-played and silent

Composed

That piano stands

In dark shadows of a jail cell

Sits a man

Silent

Untouched by emotion

Unloved and silent

Decomposing

Sits that man

In the winter white room

And the shadowy cell

A ghostly voice

Is often heard

Echoing through the walls

[1] ‘Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too’

Still waiting for the call from ITV

Well, where did that week go? Another two hundred competitions entered - only to vanish into the ether, never to be heard of again! I don't know why I'm being so sceptical, I suppose it's because old habits die hard. I dread to think how many hours I've wasted over the last twelve months entering competitions.

So why do I - and millions of others - do it?  I can only speak for myself of course but being an optimist definitely helps. I've spent all my life (yes, all twenty one years) saying things like: 'I'm not lucky, I never win anything, I have to work for everything I get' and  tutting at slogans like 'You've got to be in it to win it' and 'Winners never quit, Quitters never win.'

I used to enter the odd competition here and there but never won anything, hence the above statements. It wasn't until I discovered the competition site 'Loquax' that I became a true 'comper'. Yes Loquax it's YOUR fault! Apart from lots of  new competitions which are added daily, the site has forums bursting at the seams with enthusiastic winners shouting about their latest wins. They used to get on my nerves - until I joined them.....

There are hints and tips about entering and winning competitions and the main concensus amongst seasoned professionals seems to be, the more you enter, the more likely you are to win. Even though I'm generally an optimistic sort of soul I've never expected to actually win a competition but I decided to test the theory.

Many of the winners on Loquax admit to entering hundreds of competitions a week - which sounds a lot but in practice is easily achieved with the abundance of competition sites online that just require a few clicks of the mouse in order to get your 'name in the hat.'

It's an interesting hobby with the added incentive of  never knowing what tomorrow might bring.

I spent at least an hour every day for the next six months entering competitions. My favourite type being tie breakers. As a writer I think I'm pretty darned good at tie breakers, unfortunately the competition judges don't appear to agree.....(sigh)

My first win came just a week after I announced to my husband that I was going to 'give up wasting my time on these competitions' adding 'I'm not lucky, I never win anything.' A week later I opened my emails up to see one that started with the words: Congratulations you are a winner...... It was only a runner-up prize, a DVD, the first prize was a state of the art DVD recorder. I wasn't too disappointed though, it gave me a push to continue entering with renewed energy because it convinced me that 'Your name can come out'

Little did I realise that this was the start of a winning roll.........

Just two days after the initial winning email I received another one. This time it was a first prize - and there was only one first prize! A digital camera and  photobox vouchers to the value of £100. Oooooh, the excitement, anybody would have thought I'd won the lottery! About a week later I got another email telling me that I'd won a spa break (value £250) Spa products and bars of chocolate - another first prize! By now I was opening my emails almost expecting to have won another prize but the next two weeks went by quietly with no prizes. I started to think the wins had been a fluke, then Voila! another win. It was another runner up prize of a DVD but it fuelled my hope and I entered more believing now that the 'law of averages' really does work. Another quiet couple of weeks then, BAM - another runner-up prize but this was one I was hoping for, A family pass to Pleasure Beach Blackpool. We had a wonderful day out with our daughter and granddaughter - all free of charge.

That was at the end of July and I haven't won a thing since - so surely it must be time for me to receive another batch of winner's emails! Or, maybe this time it will be a phone call from ITV......... I live in hope!
Many of the Loquax members have received a call from ITV.........They get on my nerves.........


I may not be the luckiest person when it comes to competitions but I am lucky in love! (Smooth link or what?!)

Dream Lover

I met him in Liverpool

Don’t know why I was there, alone

He was handsome and very cool

Said his name was Joe Malone

I fell for Joe most instantly

He also seemed to fall for me

Together we had a wonderful day

That’s when I decided to play away

Just couldn’t help myself you see

These sort of things don’t happen to me

He said he played for Liverpool

Don’t go for footballers as a rule

We agreed to meet again next day

But I realised with much dismay

That now I must return to Jim     

And break the news of Joe to him

I’ve got a boyfriend, I blurted out

His name is Joe. I had no doubt

That he’d be overjoyed for me

Jim’s a Liverpool fan you see

When will you meet again? he asked

As in my newfound love I basked

Tomorrow I dreamily replied

I’ll come as well, Alright I sighed.

Don’t know why I agreed to this

As I remembered Joe’s sweet kiss

We do the strangest things in dreams

Especially ones with football themes

So off we set for Liverpool

To meet the boyfriend, Joseph cool

At the station I nervously waited

For Joe to show, my breath was baited

But when Joe finally appeared

He’d changed and he looked really weird

His rugged face had been replaced

By an old and wrinkly woman’s face!

What do you want to do today?

He asked as I began to pray

This wasn’t real and I was dreaming

I glanced at Jim, his face was beaming

Joe, first let me introduce

My husband, Jim, his face went peuce

We’ll get together another day

He said as he turned and hurried away

As I left with Jim, my ego was battered

My dreams of being a wag were shattered

He was a strange looking bloke noted Jim

I couldn’t help but agree with him

Strange Week

Any of you who know me will be aware that I am not 'into' fiction. I am a firm believer that truth is stranger. If my family want me to watch a film they always tell me that it is 'a true story'. I was half way through the Matrix before it dawned on me that it wasn't fact based!

So why am I telling you this? I have had a very strange week and I have a feeling my life is going to get a lot stranger.

It started with a tweet.....

I - reluctantly - joined Twitter a whlie ago. I joined Facebook after being persuaded by some friends at college and quite enjoyed it for a while. But then I got a bit bored with it when I realised that I was spending a lot of time there, time that I should have been spending on something more productive. I gave up to social networking eventually just 'popping on' occasionally to see if anything new was happening.I kept hearing about Twitter and Tweets and eventually decided to have a look. After I joined, my Twitter page was abandoned for quite some time until I discovered a few college friends again on the site.That was the beginning of a new form of time-wasting (Sorry Twiiter friends, it's nothing personal!) I started tweeting and then I decided to start this blog - another new experience.Once more I seem to find myself in cyberspace almost as much as I am in the real world.

I got a little bit excited about Twitter when I discovered that famous people used it and I started to follow some of my favourite people, mainly comedians because I like a good laugh. I follow Steve Martin, Eddie Izzard and paul Merton to name a few but I soon discovered that famous people don't talk to mere mortals such as me.

In April 2009 I noticed a tweet from Paul Merton inviting people to join The Land of Grimney. I had a look and decided to join but being the technophobe that I am I couldn't work out how to navigate the site. I tried, again unsuccessfully to upload some poems to the site quite recently and emailed the admin team to ask for help. I received no reply and once again the site was abandoned.

This brings you up to date with my background in social networking so what happened to make this week so strange?

Firstly, I received an email from a wizard - I kid you not! Out of the blue I received an email from someone by the name of 'Word Wizard.' The email was to advise me that my email to them had 'slipped through the net' - I don't think there was any pun intended. I won't bore you with the details but I have spent most of this week in the Land of Grimney having conversations with all sorts of strange beings. I have a friend called Philomena who is a mermaid and works behind the bar at Holmes tavern, which is where I've spent most of my time - as you would expect. Philomena took me for a ride on her Kelpie to a lake where I met an ugly monster by the name of the Gwump.

Back in the real world I am receiving emails from my wizard, friend who is advising me about my character in Grimney! For someone who has never had any interest in fantasy, fairies, witches, monsters and so on, I have quite enjoyed my visits to this strange land. Maybe I'm discovering my lost childhood or maybe I'm finally losing the plot, big time, I don't know but I'm enjoying a completely new experience - and gradually slipping away from Twitter land.

Since 2006 my life has been constantly throwing up new adventures, the first of which was deciding to enroll on a degree course at my local college.

If you had told me ten years ago that I would one day have an English degree, that I would spend half of my time in Cyberspace, that I would be writing (or at least attempting to write) poetry and finally that I would be having an adventure in a fantasy land, I would have assured you that you had got me confused with somebody else!

I have no suitable poem to accompany this week's blog but I am going to attempt to create one. If no poem appears at the end - it means I failed.

Thanks for reading and see you next week - unless I end up in outer space or something, I never know these days!

At a Tavern in Grimney

Meadow Goblinglitter stays

In a nearby magic forest

She whiles away her days

She loves to sit and gaze beneath

The purple snoozle tree

At the comings and the goings

Of that strange community

 There are witches, there are wizards

There are toads and mermaids too

If you like mystery and adventure

You should visit Grimney too.

Oh, alright it's probably not the best poem you've ever read but I only had half an hour......

                                                             Death of a Dictator

So Colonel Gaddafi's dead and there are mass celebrations taking place across Libya. Freedom at last for people who have been ruled with an iron fist for forty years. So will Libya be transformed overnight into a flourishing democracy? I doubt it. Judging by the scenes surrounding the tyrant's final moments, I doubt it very much.

Whatever Gaddafi did when he was alive, by meting out the same horrific, barbaric treatment to him when he was lying helpless and injured, the mob showed that they had no more capacity for compassion than their fallen leader .It doesn't bode well for the emerging Libya to see scenes of a blood-soaked body being kicked and beaten to a chorus of  jubilant rejoicing, reminiscent of howling packs of hounds ripping a fox apart.

As long as we subscribe to the notion that someone 'deserves' to die like that there is no hope for a peaceful existence on this planet.

Time and time again I am reminded of my favourite quote:

                                           An Eye for an Eye makes the Whole World Blind.

Instead of one of my own poems, this week I have decided to share some beautiful  lyrics from a King Crimson song which are appropriate in view of the subject:

Peace - an End

Peace is a word Of the sea and the wind. Peace is a bird who sings As you smile. Peace is the love Of a foe as a friend; Peace is the love you bring To a child Searching for me You look everywhere, Except beside you. Searching for you You look everywhere, But not inside you. Peace is a stream From the heart of a man; Peace is a man, whose breadth Is the dawn. Peace is a dawn On a day without end; Peace is the end, like death Of the war.

Would you really want £101 million?

I've been reading about the latest Euro Millions winners who won the obscene amount of £101 million last week. It got me thinking. What a ridiculous amount of money that is to offer as a prize. I can put my hand on my heart and honestly say I wouldn't want that amount of money and, by the way, if I did win an amount like that I would definitely not be going public! What are those people thinking? They say they'd rather get it out in the open so they can 'enjoy' the money! I wonder if they're enjoying having their names dragged through the murky tabloids?

I keep telling people that if I won the lottery it wouldn't change me. They always laugh and say 'You don't know how it would change you until it happens.' I WISH I could win the lottery - if only to prove to people that I hadn't changed! I LOVE my little house - and little, it is. I feel safe and secure where I live. I have everything I need - which isn't much! These people who win always talk about buying a big house, a new car - the current winners are buying a new diamond engagement ring. They bought a ring when they got engaged but now want to replace it with a diamond one. What happened to sentimental value?

I do enter the lottery but if I ever win I have a plan which I'm dying to put into action. I won't be buying a flashy car or a mansion, I'm happy with what I've got. I'm not saying for one minute that I won't have a spending spree. It would be lovely to go out and buy whatever takes your fancy  without checking the bank balance first. However I have never had access to one million pounds, let alone a hundred and one so  I think having too much money would be nearly as bad as not having enough, not quite as bad I should stress but it would bring a new set of pressures.

So if I won £101 million I think I'd keep a million so that I could make my life easier and the lives of my family too. The other £100 million would go to making a whole lot of other people's lives better, after all the old saying, 'You can't take it with you.' is very true. Oh and naturally I will be looking after everyone who follows my blog - especially those who comment!!!!!

On that note, this week's poem is a 'tongue-in-cheek prayer that I wrote some time ago.
See you next week.

Dear Lord,

Do you think that you could fix it for me

To win on the National lottery?

I wouldn’t ask for this normally

But my cash is depleting quite rapidly

I won’t waste it on irrelevant things

Like designer labels or lots of bling

Or a mansion with furniture fit for a king

I’m just fed up of tightening my purse strings

I might splash out a bit, surely I can’t be blamed

Because all of my life, Lord I’ve had to abstain

And to tell you the truth it’s becoming a bane

If I don’t get some cash soon I might go insane

If I’m totally honest I don’t think it’s fair

How some folk just seem to have more than their share

And you say of material things, we shouldn’t care

But it’s not easy, Lord when the cupboards are bare

I know I’ve not always been good, but I’ve tried

So I’d like you to put misdemeanors aside

And just for once give me an easy ride

That’s the end of my prayer, I’ll leave you to decide.

Following that post, have a read of this: http://www.lovemoney.com/news/family-finance/family-finance/13130/it-sucks-to-win-the-lottery?source=1000557